Coursework – Descriptive Writing

The hypnotic rhythm of waves beating against the terrain conquers all sound other than its own, echoing outwards into the all-encompassing darkness. Behind the cover of darkness and locked in confrontation, the waters are thrown against the dense vegetation hemming of the icy lake, which struggles against the immense might of the lake as it attempts to sustain itself by partaking of the murky waters amidst the ongoing battle.

A glare of moonlight provides the only clear view within the night, with no more than a few inches into the gloomy lake’s depths illuminated. Below the surface no movement is visible, except for the occasional flicker of moonlight reflecting off of a stray ice crystal drifting freely in the water’s current. The only other motion of noticeable proportion as to be visible to the eye is at the centre of the sullen waters, as reeds lurch to and fro with the shoves of the water.

Under the shroud of darkness frost creeps over the undergrowth, comforting each blade of grass with its icy embrace. Encrusting the turf with a perfect spread of crystallised ice, the night’s sculptures begin to take shape, as nature once again captures a singular moment with perfect precision. As each blade takes its place in the wintery image, a cover of sparkling frost takes its own atop the vegetation.

A single bead of frozen water sits still, suspended in the air by the night’s swift swoop. Perfectly formed, the frozen droplet should have fallen from its mantel hours before, but nature forbids its plummet to the earth below. The intricately formed droplet, crafted in ice, balances delicately on the tip of a leaf protruding from the vegetation. Yet still, unique in its curvature, it is poised to lose form at any moment.

But now, in the distance, the sun rises over the horizon illuminating the sky with an illustrious blend of gold and scarlet. The masterful brushwork of the sun paints its way across the sky, proceeding hastily through the heavens. With clouds banished from the firmament, the sun’s illustrations dance across the blank canvas, creating a unique masterpiece, and adding to their work with every movement.

Dispelling the shadows of the night, the roaring beauty of the dancing flames of the sky descends to the earth’s crust and envelopes the landscape once again. As it rises further into the sky, the majestic sun takes command of more and more land, warding off the night’s frozen touch. Providing the glimpse of shimmering warmth that had been expelled by the night’s grasp, the sun’s masterful stroke brings rejuvenation to the land.

As the heavens ignite overhead, the morning’s warmth thaws the frigid sculptures of the night’s glacial chisel. The radiating warmth brings back the delicate balance of life to the sprouting flowers along the water’s edge. Highlighting the diverse beauty of the encircling pastures, the sun brings a colourful depth to the terrain, as specks of colour project from the luscious green of the tall grass.

Reflecting the sky’s dancing patterns, the shimmering waters glisten with a tint of life as they gently lap onto their grassy surroundings. Glowing with a vibrant blue, the swashing waters provide a brilliantly beauteous hue for their own interpretation of the sun’s graceful resplendence, providing the sun with a mixing palette for its rays.

Leaving its perch, a single water droplet falls from the tip of a protruding leaf, plummeting to the earth below. A gust of wind crosses the bead’s path, veering it off of its course as it tumbles through the air, sending it towards a green patch. Crashing against the layer of vegetation sprawled across the earth, the droplet disperses, splitting into miniature beads, which in turn trickled to the turf below. The water seeps slowly into the earth, replenishing the surrounding plants’ water supply.

Now that the icy bonds are lifted from the land, the shrill chirping of crickets begins, pervading the – what had been – near-silence. As the chirps grow more distinct, not only do the crickets emerge, but lifted in the blustering breeze, a beguiling butterfly glides gently through the air, cutting through it with its decorated wings. It lands upon the tip of a leaf, pauses for a moment, and flies away, wings fluttering elegantly.

One thought on “Coursework – Descriptive Writing

  1. Your personification is really quite poetic in this line: ‘Under the shroud of darkness frost creeps over the undergrowth, comforting each blade of grass with its icy embrace.’ This is where you are at your best. A stand out moment. Much like: ‘As the heavens ignite overhead, the morning’s warmth thaws the frigid sculptures of the night’s glacial chisel.’

    Look at the first sentence of your second paragraph. My initial thoughts are that there are too many words here and this obscures your meaning, perhaps there are too many prepositions? Read it through and then get back to me. There is also some repetition that could do with editing here.

    Find this clause: ‘The intricately smoothened drop…’ what is wrong here?

    One overall thing to take into consideration is ‘what are you guiding us to look at and how are you guiding us?’ You might want to consider focus on the journey of one object as it travels through your setting. This might give your piece more focus.

React!